Are birthdays a cause for celebration or a time for reflection?
As children, a cake, candles and laughter are invaluable to celebrate another year of life.
As we grow, it would also be good to instill that turning one year older also means one year less. Not in a sadness mood, but not in a mood to reflect. It means that we are here for something and it would be good to understand: What for?
Some find it sooner, what a blessing. In my case, it took me a few years… a lot actually. I certainly received the message at a young age, but I didn’t listen to my intuition enough, I didn’t believe in myself. Until this year I feel like I finally understood it, at 36 years old.
At first I wanted a successful career, then I wanted to be a young mother, I wanted to get married, I wanted to travel… I felt like that would give meaning to my life (and I’m not saying it wouldn’t). but then life forced me to question myself: – And if I don’t have that, then my life would be meaningless ? I realized that what I wanted was: To fit in.
Fit in with what society wants, asks and sometimes demands.
Demonstrate: Show that I can be good enough: in my job, for example… show that I can… In my relationships: demonstrating love can do anything… and little by little these mental columns began to collapse, because when I showed it or fit in, I really didn’t feel good. much less happy.
I know it can be overwhelming to think about: What is my purpose? But maybe the question is too big and ambiguous.
I started with: What makes me happy? But truly happy, not the kind of happiness when you please others, because that is also an illusion.
What do I value most in life? In my relationships, In my time.
If I dwell on that thought long enough, I will get to know myself, to find myself.
The candles in the cake are not to make a wish, but instead you’re marking the occasion of the first lighting of the little brilliant fragile flame that is your life.
And that’s where I realize that it really doesn’t matter so much about finding purpose, but rather living on purpose.
